2016年3月25日 星期五

言多必失,說話的二十二戒!

1、戒多言:說話不要太多,言多必失。

2、戒輕言:不要輕率地講話,輕言的人會召來責怪和羞辱。

3、戒狂言:不要不知輕重,胡侃亂說。胡侃亂說,往往後悔。

4、戒雜言:說話不可雜亂無章。雜亂無章,就會言不及義,傷害自己的美德。

5、戒戲言:不要不顧分寸地開玩笑,否則會引起衝突,招來禍害。

6、戒直言:不要不顧後果地直言不諱,否則也會引起麻煩。
 
7、戒盡言:說話要含蓄,不要不留有餘地。

8、戒漏言:不要洩露機密。事以密成,語以漏敗。

9、戒惡言:不說無禮中傷的話,不要惡語傷人。(刀瘡易沒,惡語難消)

10、戒巧言:不要花言巧語。花言巧語的人,必然虛偽。

11、戒矜言:不要驕傲自滿,自以為是。自矜自誇,是涵養不夠的表現。

12、戒讒言:不要背後說別人的壞話。背後說人壞話,會弄得天下都不太平。

13、戒訐言:不要攻人短處,揭人瘡疤。揭人瘡疤的人,招人痛恨,害人害己。
14、戒輕諾之言:不要輕易向人許願。輕易許願,會喪失信用。

15、戒強聒之言:不要嘮嘮叨叨,別人不願聽也說個不停,使人厭煩。

16、戒譏評之言:不要說譏諷別人的話。喜歡譏諷議論別人的人,對自己的要求往往馬虎。

17、戒出位之言:不要說不符合自己身份、地位的話。

18、戒狎下之言:不要對下屬講過份親密的話,以免下屬迎合你而落入圈套。

19、戒諂諛之言:不要說吹捧奉承別人的話。吹捧奉承別人,是人品卑微的表現。

20、戒卑屈之言:不要低三下四,說奴言婢膝的話,因為德厚者無卑詞。

21、戒取怨之言:不要說招人怨恨的話,播下使人怨恨的種子。

22、戒招禍之言:不要說招來禍害的話。許多禍害,往往是說話不當的結果。

 


2016年3月19日 星期六

致富的 3 大原則與 7 個關鍵

很多人害怕上班的收入不確定,上班族急於尋找雙薪,下班之後還要辛勤工作,以為這樣就可以遠離貧窮。其實,無論兼做幾份工作,單靠增加工時獲得的收入是永遠無法讓你擺脫貧窮的

該怎麼做?

想致富,大家應記住 3個原則 : 

1. 凡是不可持續的,就不值得羨慕

 
擁有金山跟銀礦,其實不值得羨慕。與其選擇萬貫家財,倒不如選擇一個會持續冒出錢的杯子。“持續冒出錢的杯子”,這就是持續收入的概念。“賺多少錢不重要,能賺多久才是最重要的。”
 

2. 徹底改變收入結構

 
很多人窮盡一生之力,幾乎淪為工作的機器,卻一輩子無法致富。收入結構,才是決定這個家庭是富有還是貧窮的關鍵因素。調查發現大部分的家庭,通過工作獲得的收入是佔絕大部分的比例,約 95% 的收入都是來自上班所獲得的薪水這個部分。
 
在不工作時獲得的收入,如利息收入、房租收入、退休金、版稅等,一般家庭在這個方面的收入比例就低一些,大約只有5%,甚至沒有這樣的收入。

因此要改變收入結構,我們就必須 “增加 不工作時的收入”
若能將原本只佔約5%的不工作時的收入提升到95%以上,
我們就可以擁有真正的財富,並且打造一個永不缺錢的計劃!
 

3. 全家至少有一人要創造持續收入

 
每輛車都有第 5 個輪胎,就是備胎,你有為家人準備“持續收入”的備胎嗎? 聰明的家庭知道未雨綢繆,甚至可以讓家中賺錢的人不那麼辛苦。徹底改變收入結構,追求持續收入是唯一的選擇。

因此,要遠離貧窮,全家至少要有一個人創造持續收入。

想致富,更要學做人!

大家更應要記住7個關鍵:

 
人的一生都在學做人,學習做人是一輩子的事,沒有辦法畢業的。人生不管是士農工商,各種人等,只要學習就有進步。
 
泰國的傳奇人物白龍王告誡: 人只要脾氣好,凡事就會好。很多人來到這裡都問我︰我的事業好不好? 家庭好不好? 孩子好不好? 姻緣好不好?…… 我只是回答一句︰你的脾氣好不好? 
 
人生不管是士農工商,各種人等,只要學習就有進步。
 

1. 學習認錯

 
人常常不肯認錯,凡事都說是別人的錯,認為自己才是對的,其實不認錯就是一個錯。
 
認錯的對象可以是父母,朋友,社會大眾、上帝,甚至向兒女或是對我不好的人認錯,自己不但不會少了什麼,反而顯得你有度量。

學習認錯是美好的,是一個大修行。
 

2. 學習柔和

 
人的牙齒是硬的,舌頭是軟的,到了人生的最後,牙齒都掉光了,舌頭卻不會掉,所以要柔軟,人生才能長久,硬反而吃虧。心地柔軟了,是修行最大的進步。
 
一般形容執著的人說,你的心、你的性格很冷、很硬,像鋼鐵一樣。如果我們像禪門說的調息、調身、調心,慢慢調伏像野馬、像猴子的這顆心,令它柔軟,人生才能活得更快樂、更長久。
 

3. 學習生忍

 
這世間就是忍一口氣,風平浪靜,退一步海闊天空; 忍,萬事都能消除。忍就是會處理、會化解,用智慧、能力讓大事化小、小事化無。

要生活、要生存、要生命,有了忍,可以認清世間的好壞,善惡、是非、甚至接受它。
 

4. 學習溝通

 
缺乏溝通,會產生是非、爭執與誤會。最重要的就是溝通,相互了解、相互體諒、相互幫助,大家都是龍兄虎弟,互相爭執、不溝通怎麼能和平呢?
 

5. 學習放下

 
人生像一隻皮箱,需要用的時候提起,不用的時就把它放下,
應放下的時候,卻不放下,就像拖著沉重的行李,無法自在。
 
人生的歲月有限,認錯、尊重、包容才能讓人接受,放下才自在啊!
 

6. 學習感動

 
看到人家的好處,要歡喜;看到好人好事,要能感動。感動是一個愛心、菩薩心、菩提心,在幾十年的歲月裡,有許多事情、語言感動了我們,所以我們也很努力的想辦法讓別人感動。
 

7. 學習生存

 
為了生存,要維護身心的健康,身體健康、心情安定 不但對自己有利,做事情 也會讓朋友、家人放心,無形中,也是一種 孝親的行為喔。
 
不因一時賺得多,而志得意滿;不因一時賺得少,而灰心喪志!記住,「經歷」是你最好的履歷,「思考」更是你成功的關鍵!



錄自  CMoney

2016年3月15日 星期二

和不一樣的人在一起,就會有不一樣的人生。

在現實生活中,你和誰在一起的確很重要,甚至能改變你的成長軌跡,決定你的人生成敗。

和什麼樣的人在一起,就會有什麼樣的人生。和勤奮的人在一起,你不會懶惰;和積極的人在一起,你不會消沉。與智者同行,你會不同凡響;與高人為伍,你能登上巔峰。


科學家認為:“人是惟一能接受暗示的動物。”

積極的暗示,會對人的情緒和生理狀態產生良好影響,激發人的內在潛能,發揮人的超常水平,使人進取,催人奮進。

遠離消極的人吧!否則,他們會在不知不覺中偷走你的夢想,使你漸漸頹廢,變得平庸。


積極的人像太陽,照到哪裡哪裡亮;消極的人像月亮,初一十五不一樣。態度決定一切。有什麼樣的態度,就有什麼樣的未來;性格決定命運,有怎樣的性格,就有怎樣的人生。

有人說,人生有三大幸運:上學時遇到好老師;工作時遇到一位好師傅,好老闆;成家遇到一個好伴侶。有時他們一個甜美的笑容,一句溫馨的問候,就能使你的人生與眾不同,光彩照人。


生活中最不幸的是:由於你身邊缺乏積極進取的人,缺少遠見卓識的人,使你的人生變得平平庸庸,黯然失色。

有句話說得好,你是誰並不重要,重要的是和誰在一起。古有“孟母三遷”,足以說明和誰在一起的確很重要。雄鷹在雞窩裡長大,就會失去飛翔的本領,怎能博擊長空,翱翔藍天;野狼在羊群裡成長,也會“愛上羊”而喪失狼性,怎能叱吒風雲,馳騁大地。


原本你很優秀,由於周圍那些消極的人影響了你,使你缺乏向上的壓力,喪失前進的動力,而變得俗不可耐,如此平庸。不是有這樣的觀念嗎?“大多數人帶著未演奏的樂曲走進了墳墓。”

如果你想像雄鷹一樣翱翔天空,那你就要和群鷹一起飛翔,而不要與燕雀為伍;如果你想像野狼一樣馳騁大地,那你就要和狼群一起奔跑,而不能與鹿羊同行。


正所謂“畫眉麻雀不同嗓,金雞鳥鴉不同窩。”這也許就是潛移默化的力量和耳濡目染的作用。

如果你想聰明,那你就要和聰明的人在一起,你才會更加睿智;如果你想優秀,那你就要和優秀的人在一起,你才會出類拔萃。

俗話說:物以類聚,人以群分。之所以會出現一個宿舍都考上研究生,同一班級能考上多個名校生,大概就是這方面的原因吧。


讀好書、交高人乃人生兩大幸事。一個人身價的高低,是由他周圍的朋友決定的。朋友越優秀,意味著你的價值越高,對你的事業幫助越大。朋友是你一生不可或缺的寶貴財富。因為朋友的相助和激勵,你才會戰無不勝,一往無前。

人生的奧妙之處就在與人相處,攜手同行。生活的美好之處則在於送人玫瑰,手留餘香。

人生就是這樣。想和聰明的人在一起,你就得聰明;想和優秀的人在一起,你就得優秀。



和不一樣的人在一起,就會有不一樣的人生。愛情如此,婚姻也如此;家庭如此,事業也如此。





2016年3月6日 星期日

良好的人際關係讓我們保持健康與快樂。 What makes a good life?

 
哈佛大學經過75年的追蹤調查,發現晚年的快樂無關財富、無關名望、無關辛勤工作,而是良好的人際關係讓我們保持健康與快樂。
 
Lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder. The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this good relationships keep us happier and happier.
We learned three big lessons about relationships. There are the following three majors.

1. Social connections are really good for us but loneliness kills

社交關係對我們大有裨益,而孤獨則相反

2. it's not just the number of friends you have. And not whether or not you're in a committed relationship. But the quality of your close relationships that matters.

你擁有的朋友數量是無關緊要,是否處於婚姻關係也不重要,重要的是這段親密關係的品質

3. Good relationships don't just protect our bodies, they protect our brains.

良好的關係不僅保護我們的身體,更保護我們的大腦

Conclusion is good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being.

結論是,良好緊密的關係有利於身心健康

Mark Twain said, There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving. And but an instant, so to speak, for that the good life is built with good relationships.

馬克吐溫回顧他的一生時說,生命如此短暫,我們沒有時間去相互爭吵、道歉、發洩、責備,時間只夠用來去愛。可惜的是,它又只有那一瞬間,用良好的人際關係來獲得良好的生活。
 
出處
 
What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness
 
 
 
 
 
00:11 What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life? If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy? There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were, and over 80 percent said that a major life goal for them was to get rich. And another 50 percent of those same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous.
 
00:49 (Laughter)
 
00:51 And we're constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder and achieve more. We're given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after in order to have a good life. Pictures of entire lives, of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them, those pictures are almost impossible to get. Most of what we know about human life we know from asking people to remember the past, and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20. We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life, and sometimes memory is downright creative.
 
01:35 But what if we could watch entire lives as they unfold through time? What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers all the way into old age to see what really keeps people happy and healthy?
 
01:54 We did that. The Harvard Study of Adult Development may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done. For 75 years, we've tracked the lives of 724 men, year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health, and of course asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories were going to turn out.
 
02:24 Studies like this are exceedingly rare. Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade because too many people drop out of the study, or funding for the research dries up, or the researchers get distracted, or they die, and nobody moves the ball further down the field. But through a combination of luck and the persistence of several generations of researchers, this study has survived. About 60 of our original 724 men are still alive, still participating in the study, most of them in their 90s. And we are now beginning to study the more than 2,000 children of these men. And I'm the fourth director of the study.
 
03:14 Since 1938, we've tracked the lives of two groups of men. The first group started in the study when they were sophomores at Harvard College. They all finished college during World War II, and then most went off to serve in the war. And the second group that we've followed was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods, boys who were chosen for the study specifically because they were from some of the most troubled and disadvantaged families in the Boston of the 1930s. Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water.
 
03:53 When they entered the study, all of these teenagers were interviewed. They were given medical exams. We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents. And then these teenagers grew up into adults who entered all walks of life. They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors, one President of the United States. Some developed alcoholism. A few developed schizophrenia. Some climbed the social ladder from the bottom all the way to the very top, and some made that journey in the opposite direction.
 
04:34 The founders of this study would never in their wildest dreams have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later, telling you that the study still continues. Every two years, our patient and dedicated research staff calls up our men and asks them if we can send them yet one more set of questions about their lives.
 
04:59 Many of the inner city Boston men ask us, "Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting." The Harvard men never ask that question.
 
05:10 (Laughter)
 
05:19 To get the clearest picture of these lives, we don't just send them questionnaires. We interview them in their living rooms. We get their medical records from their doctors. We draw their blood, we scan their brains, we talk to their children. We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns. And when, about a decade ago, we finally asked the wives if they would join us as members of the study, many of the women said, "You know, it's about time."
 
05:49 (Laughter)
 
05:50 So what have we learned? What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages of information that we've generated on these lives? Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder. The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.
 
06:22 We've learned three big lessons about relationships. The first is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely. And the sad fact is that at any given time, more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.
 
07:18 And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd and you can be lonely in a marriage, so the second big lesson that we learned is that it's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship, but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters. It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.
 
07:56 Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s, we wanted to look back at them at midlife and to see if we could predict who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian and who wasn't. And when we gathered together everything we knew about them at age 50, it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. And good, close relationships seem to buffer us from some of the slings and arrows of getting old. Our most happily partnered men and women reported, in their 80s, that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy. But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain.
 
09:03 And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies, they protect our brains. It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship to another person in your 80s is protective, that the people who are in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, those people's memories stay sharper longer. And the people in relationships where they feel they really can't count on the other one, those are the people who experience earlier memory decline. And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time. Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other day in and day out, but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other when the going got tough, those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories.
10:00 So this message, that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being, this is wisdom that's as old as the hills. Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore? Well, we're human. What we'd really like is a quick fix, something we can get that'll make our lives good and keep them that way. Relationships are messy and they're complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it's not sexy or glamorous. It's also lifelong. It never ends. The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates. Just like the millennials in that recent survey, many of our men when they were starting out as young adults really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement were what they needed to go after to have a good life. But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships, with family, with friends, with community.
 
11:20 So what about you? Let's say you're 25, or you're 40, or you're 60. What might leaning in to relationships even look like?
 
11:30 Well, the possibilities are practically endless. It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together, long walks or date nights, or reaching out to that family member who you haven't spoken to in years, because those all-too-common family feuds take a terrible toll on the people who hold the grudges.
 
12:03 I'd like to close with a quote from Mark Twain. More than a century ago, he was looking back on his life, and he wrote this: "There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that."
 
12:33 The good life is built with good relationships.
 
12:38 Thank you.
 
12:39 (Applause) 

2016年3月5日 星期六

美國公佈40個簡易長壽法

 
來源:生命時報
 
1. 唱歌 瑞典研究者發現,唱歌能改善心臟狀況。
 
2. 工作努力 最新調查顯示,工作努力負責的人會比普通人多活23 年。
 
3. 人脈廣 擁有強大的社交網絡、愛結交朋友、與家庭成員和社區保持緊密聯繫的人活得更長。
 
4. 每週跑步 研究發現,與不跑步的同齡人相比,跑步者平均要多活3 年;建議每週最少跑步3050 分鐘,速度保持在9.6 公里/ 小時。
 
5. 減少久坐 研究發現,與靜坐有關的癌症病例每年會達到17.3 萬例。如果人們每天靜坐時間低於3 個小時,平均壽命就會增加2 年。
 
6. 適度悲觀 一項為期10 年的追踪調查發現,適度悲觀的德國人活得更久,因為他們更為關注自身健康,採用更健康的生活方式。
 
7. 飲食不離薑黃 這是一種能抵禦多種疾病的強效抗氧化劑。
 
8. 每天散步 散步的速度越快,延年益壽的效果越明顯;保持在每小時4 公里的速度最合理。
 
9. 減少熱量攝入 如果人們能將日常飲食中的熱量降低30% ,糖尿病、癌症、心髒病和大腦疾病的發病率就會明顯下降。
 
10. 不喝烈性酒 俄羅斯一項研究發現,每週飲用1.5 升以上伏特加的男性更有可能在55 歲左右死亡。
 
11. 戒菸 根據美國疾控的統計數字,每年每5 例死亡中就有1 例與吸煙有關。
 
12. 食用綠葉菜 綠葉蔬菜富含膳食纖維,能夠提供多種維生素、礦物質和植物化學物。
 
13. 多擁抱 研究顯示,與所愛的人相互擁抱會釋放出某種激素,能減輕壓力、降低血壓。
 
14. 經常大笑 笑容能讓血管擴張22% ,增加血液流量,從而降低血壓。
 
15. 吃花椰菜 這種十字花科蔬菜含有大量的維生素C 、葉酸和類胡蘿蔔素,能保護人體細胞免受自由基的損害,增強免疫系統的功能和生殖健康。
 
16. 養寵物 研究已經發現,養寵物的人不太可能患上高血壓。
 
17. 保證睡眠質量 睡眠質量不高會導致高血壓、抑鬱症、體重增加和癌症。但如果睡太久,每晚睡眠時間超過9 個小時也不利於健康。
 
18. 從事園藝勞動 園藝勞動會對身心都有幫助。
 
19. 喝熱可可 熱可可中抗氧化劑的濃度要遠高於其他飲料,有助於提高思維能力,改善心臟健康狀況。
 
20. 不要成為太狂熱的體育迷 輸贏會對心血管疾病的發病有重要影響作用,所以要用溫和的態度對待比賽結果,不要過於狂熱。
 
21. 情緒愉悅 一項為期ㄩ10 年的追踪調查顯示,抑鬱情緒的人更易早亡。
 
22. 不喝含糖汽水 每年在全世界有18 萬死亡病例與飲用含糖飲料有關聯。
 
23. 遠離煙霧 長期暴露於空氣污染中會增加人們早亡的風險。
 
24. 花點時間呆在森林裡 在森林裡能呼吸植物殺菌素,能降低血壓和壓力,增強免疫力。
 
25. 少吃糖 越來越多的專家把肥胖症、糖尿病、心髒病和其他慢性疾病歸咎於這種白色甜味物質。在不得不吃糖時,可用蜂蜜來代替。
 
26. 學會一種娛樂性運動 輪滑、羽毛球和排球等娛樂性體育運動能為人體健康提供一系列好處,打乒乓球甚至能增強運動能力和提高長期記憶力。
 
27. 保持鎮靜 不要輕易發火。哈佛大學的研究者發現,在憤怒爆發後的兩個小時,人們心髒病發作的風險增加了近五倍,中風風險增加三倍多。
 
28. 飲茶 飲茶具有多種健康功效,如抗癌、降低患冠心病、血栓和中風的風險。
 
29. 吃鮭魚 鮭魚是歐米伽3 脂肪酸的豐富來源,有助於減輕體內炎症。
 
30. 不吃燒焦的食物 燒焦食物中含有的化學物質可能會致癌。
 
31. 少看電視 澳大利亞學者進行的研究發現,即使參與者平均每天參加3045 分鐘的體育鍛煉,他們每看一個小時的電視,死於心血管疾病的風險也會增加18%
 
32. 早餐食用燕麥粥 燕麥所含有的膳食纖維能降低人們患上肥胖症的風險。
 
33. 愛上跳舞 常跳舞能將人們患認知障礙症的風險降低76% ,高於其他任何體育運動和認知活動。
 
34. 性愛要親密 性生活不僅有助於提高免疫系統的功能,而且能改善心臟健康狀況。
 
36. 拒絕方便麵 研究發現,每週食用2——3 次方便麵,會增加人們患心髒病、糖尿病和中風的風險。
 
37. 多吃大蒜 不要害怕口臭而不吃大蒜研究表明,大蒜中的活性成分能預防動脈粥樣硬化和冠狀動脈堵塞、降低膽固醇、減少血栓的形成、調節血糖和預防癌症。
 
38. 把堅果當作零食來吃 所有類型的堅果都含有對心臟健康有益的脂肪和蛋白質,這兩種成分都 ​​能保持血糖平穩。
 
39. 服用阿司匹林 如果你先前患過心臟病、中風或糖尿病,請每天服用小劑量的阿司匹林,能延長壽命。
 
40. 悉心護理牙齒 牙周疾病與系統炎症和心血管疾病的風險之間存在直接關聯。美國牙周病學會的研究成果顯示,有牙齦疾病的人患上心髒病的可能性會高出兩倍。
 
 
地點 : 2016 年桃園燈會